Getting back to writing

Wow, life's been hectic now back at home and I just realised how long it's been since my last post. I am genuinely wondering how I went about my life with six cats to care for when there even seems too much to do now with none. I guess when you're caring for the little critters, you automatically care about them more than the trivial little things in life (like keeping the surfaces tidy, using in-date milk and paying the electricity bill).

I see Oscar and Tilly are still listed on the TCR website and therefore still in their foster home. I wonder how they coped with losing their mom. Just the thought of it is so saddening, even if cats don't attach as much emotion to this kind of thing as humans. I think I'd be in tears if I had to look after those poor orphans. And I think I was lucky with my bunch. It was difficult enough coping with the death of Celia even though she was no longer in my care: I don't know how I'd have felt if I did lose one while he/she was with me.

I feel like I appreciate the fragility of life a bit more having just read about little Destiny's fate on Beth's blog. It makes me think back to Rosey and how close we'd been to losing him. I cannot believe what a little fighter he was and how far he's come from being a snotty little furball who wouldn't stop screaming to an athletic little tiger who only ever wants to poop on the floor. I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just letting the little guy poop wherever he bloody well likes in appreciation of the fact that he just kept on going in times of adversity. Unfortunately he's my mum's responsibility now and she tells me it's not much fun cleaning up poop from the floor every day, especially in the heat of summer. I actually do know how she feels and have had my fair share of it, thank you very much. Other than that, Rosey's being totally, totally spoilt with fresh meat, which he loves so much that he gobbles it down and starts on Mini-Cat's bowl within seconds. No wonder him and Matt got on so well.

As an aside, I was alarmed to notice a strange name on Rosey's medicine bottle from the vet when I visited at the weekend - "Tigger". Having questioned my mum, she shiftily revealed that when being pressed for a name at the vet the first time, she felt embarrassed for Rosey about giving the vet a girl's name for him, so she hastily opted for "Tigger". Uh, now all we have to do is change Mini's name to "Winnie" and rename Tiddles "Christopher Robin" and we're all set for a remake of the children's classis Winnie The Pooh. Well, she claimed she gave that name because he looks like a tiger and wasn't in fact aware of his cartoon namesake, but I'm not so sure. There's nothing wrong with the name, as such, but it's such an obvious name for a tabby cat and I don't like obvious. And I also cannot believe they rebuffed my suggestion of "Dexter" (I've been enjoying series 1 and 2 and was inevitably inspired) and then went and did this. Anyway, luckily neither names stuck and my handsome little stripy prince continues to be called Rosey, although his silly little head doesn't in fact seem to respond to anything you call him.

Some very sad news

Celia, whose translucent amber eyes adourn the tops of my blog pages, passed away yesterday.

Jenn at Toronto Cat Rescue had the kindness to think of me and delicately let me know straight away, even though I'm away from home and even though I was just another foster home for Celia that she'd had up until three weeks ago. She was right to think that's not how I saw it though.

Apparently Celia fell ill at her new foster home last week, a week or two after being spayed. She was taken to the vet where she remained on IV until she could fight no more. I'm told the vet felt Celia was jaundiced and had pneumonia. Jenn thinks her little body just couldn't handle recovering from the spaying operation.

When one of my beloved cats who I'd grown up with passed away a few years ago, it felt like a small part of me withered inside, but I nonetheless at the same time found comfort in that he'd enjoyed a reasonably long but certainly happy life. I've been troubled by the sad realisation that I cannot find similar comfort in Celia's passing. Any shred of comfort is as tenuous as her eventual grip on life.

I don't know much about Celia's history except that she spent longer than she should have in a metal cage at a high kill shelter. When dropping her off to me from the shelter, Beth observed from Celia's behaviour that this one year old cat definitely must have been loved at some point, words which still resonate with me. I'll never know how she lost this love, but her never-to-be-won battle to properly regain it I suspect will continue to quietly haunt me.

Within days of having her, one name came to me out of the blue with curious gusto: 'Celia', a name so fitting for a cat demure and fervid in equal measures, so reflective of her playful nature and unquestionable femininity. My Ceeli, my Celi-Cat, my Sea Leaf, my little madame who so tenaciously asserted her self-assured, capricious status in the household for the entire three months that she was with us. So strong, so obstinate that I never imagined her to ever be anything other than an unfaltering constant. An admirable mother to her kittens, a grateful and unforgettable houseguest to myself and Matthew. A familiar radiant face in the back of my mind and memory, locked firmly in the only place she will continue to exist to me.

Thank you, Celia. Thank you for making my thoughts delve deeper into the idea and secrets of motherhood than any human being has. Thank you for fighting on long enough to make sure that Tilly, Elliot, Oscar and Mini-Cat were raised in the best way possible and in full health. Thank you for accepting an orphaned and sickly Rosey as one of your own and being the mum he never had. Thank you for presenting me with a challenge I never thought I'd take on, let alone succeed in, yet did. Thank you for making me realise that sometimes a cat's just got to have their own way. Thank you for doing all the funny, quirky things that will always remind me of you and make me smile even through my tears. Thank you for inspiring me to write a song about your awkward but entertaining ways. I must finish it some day. Thank you for opening my eyes to the struggles that stray and abandoned cats and kittens face and how it's possible to make a difference.

Most of all, thank you for being a gorgeous little black, yellow-eyed kitty and giving me a reason to pick you in the first place. You may never have found a forever home, but you'll always have a forever home in my heart.

Still looking back

Well, it's been a little while and I'm happy to say it's been getting a bit easier not having the kitties around, but only because I'm away. The morning after Celia, Oscar and Tilly went to get neutered and spayed before going to their new foster home was just ghastly. Our apartment was silent and there were no longer a set of furry heads looking at me from the sofa when I opened my bedroom door. I went about my business and kept coming across their toys that were scattered across the floor and taunting me. It was like an abandoned playground that was filled with laughter and chatter only moments before but now is just a swing gently swaying back and forth whilst a tumbleweed rolls across in the background from stage left.

On a happier note, Rosey and Mini Cat seem to be getting on well at my mum's. Well, I mean they're happy, but I think my mum could be a bit happier. She absolutely adores them but it's apparently been quite challenging coping with an old cat that hates the kittens and kittens than hate producing normal stools. Mini had diarrhoea, which seems sorted now (fingers crossed) after a visit to the vet, and Rosey has taken to pooing in the bathtub. Not nice, but still an improvement from pooing on the bed, which he did over the weekend. My mum says it also seems like the only time he bothers trying to cover up his poo is when he poos somewhere destructive, in which case he appears to go at it until it's smeared over a one metre radius. When he does poo in the litter tray, his loving sister Mini covers it up for him, bless her.

Speaking of her, my mum says she is just adorable. Of course I knew this, but I'm secretly pleased that I picked her such a charming cat (she wanted Rosey but I insisted she have Mini too, who I paid for). She cuddles up to my mum all the time and purrs her little head off. She also never scratches, even if she wants to wriggle free. Everyone fell in love with her at the vet apparently too, which, by the way, was surprisingly cheap. They gave her antibiotics, a thorough examination, worm treatment, special food to take home, clipped her claws and gave her a cute little welcome pack with her own purple octopus toy, flea comb and various other bits and bobs, all for $65! Mind you, this is Innisfil, so I guess you don't get the Toronto prices and they probably don't have as much demand.

Anyway, I thought I'd leave you with some pictures of the two rascals in their new home, which is about twenty times the size of the home they had with me.

Going their separate ways

As the day's worn on, I've been feeling more and more melancholy. Rosey and Mini Cat are now in their forever home at my mum's and spent the past two nights chasing each other round my bed whilst I tried to sleep before curling up next to me, a luxury they didn't get the opportunity to enjoy while they were in Toronto with me.

I made my way back home tonight to a cheerless apartment containing Matt and the three remaining cats: Celia, Oscar and Tilly. Elliot went to his new home a couple of nights ago where he's getting used to his new name: Spyro. The sombre feeling here is down to the fact that this whole thing is over now. Tomorrow morning a driver is picking Celia, Oscar and Tilly up and taking them to the vet to have them neutered/spayed. After that they will recover at a Toronto Cat Rescue worker's home before going to their new foster home.

In a few days' time I will inevitably be occupying my mind with plenty of other things during my time away, but right now it feels like I've lost something. It's like I feel sad for everything. I feel sad for Rosey and Mini Cat because I won't see them often, I feel sorry for Elliot because he's having to adjust to a new home, I feel sorry for Oscar because he doesn't even know how much we want to adopt him but can't, I feel sorry for Tilly because it's like we've left her at the bottom of the pile of her litter and I feel sorry for Celia because she's striving to find someone to love her permanently but, realistically, the chances of that happening any time soon aren't great. I also feel sad for TCR for having to move these cats about and for struggling to keep their charity financially afloat and I feel sorry for Matt for having had this little cat family forced on him in the beginning, only to have fallen in love with them and suffer the heartache of never seeing [most of] them again. And yes, I admit it, I feel sad for me too. Sad and guilty, as if I could have done more.

Well, I guess it's the end of this particular journey but I don't feel it's anywhere near time to disconnect from it all. I'll try to stay in touch with as many of the kittens are possible, their new homes permitting, and will of course follow the course of Mini Cat and Rosey growing up at my mum's. I have also offered to do fostering for cats whose foster families go away on vacation at times when I'm back home here, at least until my schedule is a bit freer some time next year. I also want to help TCR raise some money, so I am going to have a good think about ways in which I can do that. I want to paint some paintings for them to sell at events later on in the year, so I guess I might as well start gathering some catty inspiration.

And so with a sigh of resignation tinged with quiet optimism, I'm going to bed. My heavy heart would be lifted if only Celia, Oscar and Tilly could sleep in our room tonight, if it wasn't for the Godforsaken tomato plant that lives there (and, to add insult to injury, hasn't even had the decency to sprout more than two feeble pea-sized fruit over the last two months).

I think I'm going to compile some nice photos to post soon of the past three months.

Guess who's back

Oscar. Yes, Oscar. The lady who took him isolated him from her other cat for one night because of his continuing sniffles and he was crying so much on his own that she felt too sorry for him. The very next day, Matt and I missioned it on the subway to Kipling to pick him. The day after that, I walked 6.6 km in my pretty shoes just to pick up medicine for him. ("You can't walk walk that!" Ferne at TCR exclaimed. "Pssh," I said, examining my nails coyly, "That's nothing. You should see how far I walk for human medicine." I didn't really say that). Listening to The Bugle podcasts en route and getting a tan made it all the more worthwhile.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. Don't get me wrong, we actually really missed Oscar and were really happy to have him back once more, plus the lady said she will still take him once he's better, but I can't help but think I will be stuck with six full grown cats in my 2m x 2m flat for the rest of their lives. Christ, the way I'm going, it'll probably be for the rest of my life. I'm convinced I'll have to raise my future children in this cat house, constantly attempting to prevent them from attacking the baby in its crib or eating its food when I turn my back. On the brighter side, maybe I could get them to help me raise it. You know, a bit like Mogli. There are many feline values that could be appropriate for a child to learn, like... uh... getting what you want by looking cute and speaking nicely... uh... being assertive and feisty... uh... begging soul-destroyingly for food and... umm... developing cunning. Yes, cunning is always important if this kid is to become a mastermind in this day and age, and who better than Celia to be the meticulous tutor for that purpose? And when the kids are older, they can call her Mum too and refer to the former kittens as their uncles and aunties. I'm just wondering where Matt falls into this. I'm suspecting he falls out of this some years before conception has taken place. 

*Sigh* 

Well, I just hope my friends and loved ones will recognize the vital signs when I'm confined to a rocking chair in my 80s enduring several debilitating illnesses and the cats start eyeing me up suspiciously.

NB: If you think this picture's intriguing, check THIS out.

Silly Celia

Despite her general grumpiness, little madame Celia is an ever so funny cat, so I thought I'd share some videos on my blog. For example, I've noticed that when I make kissing noises, she pushes her whiskers forward but remains otherwise largely unabashed. She does is every time and it certainly doesn't look as though it's because I'm stressing her out or she's displeased. Take a look:

And then less surprising is her habit of trying to get into the kitchen drawer in which her treats are kept. I know most cats do this but it's so amusing to see the focused determination on her face and her paw actions that resemble someone whose craft it is to scratch away at kitchen drawers. Here she is "in the zone":

Celia used to cause us no end of trouble with her persistence in jumping onto the kitchen surfaces. With that level of determination, if she was a human, she'd have already completed several PhDs and been lecturing at Harvard by now or discovering the cure for cancer or something. Anyway, we tried everything we humanely could to discourage her from jumping up: simply removing her repeatedly, telling her off, spraying her with water and other things that were probably flirting with the boundaries of animal abuse (of course I'm joking...) but she still wouldn't learn. She was even sneaky with it - she would jump up and then of course we'd shout at her to get down but she'd just look at us and unless we actually got up and made our way to her, she would just carry on going about her business up there (sniffing things, licking things, removing objects that no other cat would be interested in, all the while yowling triumphantly). Even when we mock stood up to take her off, she'd realise that we were just being lazy and almost laugh at our insolence with her golden saucer eyes.  

Anyhow, it got to the point where there really was no point adding stress to this poor cat's life when it was clearly to no avail, so we've now totally overlooked this little thing of hers and decided that if she jumps up onto a hot stove, it's her problem. Just kidding. But since we've allowed her free reign on the countertops, she has become such a jolly cat, as if everything she ever wished for was to sniff around on a 2x9 foot countertop and it's materialised. She's even started purring again (it was like discovering Atlantis) and she now lies there a lot of the time looking like a furry black princess. Ah, how we really hope she finds a lovely home. And, actually, that she'll stop nursing her kittens. For heaven's sake they're practically like teenagers and it's rather reminiscent of the "bitty" skit in Little Britain.

No one messes with Celia

On Canada Day, Matt and I decided to have some friends over who live in the same condo complex. They have a cute little dog named Farley, a jack russell/chihuahua cross, who is a total little sweetie (one must gush like this in such a dog owner dominated neighbourhood as ours). We suggested bringing Farley over to ours as he doesn't like being left alone much and we also thought it would be good for the kittens to get used to being with a dog. Farley was reportedly fine with cats and, as a precaution, we put Celia in another room in case she got a bit protective of her kittens.

Well, within minutes of them arriving and the kittens acting remarkably nonchalant around Farley (friendly, even), Celia magically appeared under the coffee table and alerted us to her presence by her hissing in Farley's direction. Unsurprising, but nonetheless slightly concerning, so I made a move for Celia in order to remove her from the room. Mere inches before I managed to get my hands on her, she literally darted three feet in the air at Farley, all four sets of claws and teeth poised for attack. Poor Farley squealed like a banshee as Celia what I can only describe as viciously attacked him. Our friend hastily lifted him up by the collar onto his lap whilst, shockingly, Celia remained attached to him with all four of her limbs. Matt managed to pull Celia off and place her back in the bathroom, but not before one of the animals released a revolting-smelling spray of liquid that impressively managed to project all over our sofa, floor and coffee table as well as our friend. Needless to say Farley went straight home, where I'm told he quickly recovered 

from his shock. For the next five minutes, Celia resembled a bloated squirrel with her bushy tail and spine as she patrolled the flat looking fierce.  

Now obviously it was a silly thing to have allowed this to happen (although I am wondering whether Celia's cunning has now extended to achieving the ability to open bathroom doors) and it was a truly horrendous scene to watch (and scent to remove) but it does astound me that a cat could get this violent. I suppose my message is never to underestimate how protective a mother can be, because even for a petite, sleek little cat like Celia, her "moves" have certainly made me more weary of pissing her off (and believe me, I can be annoying).

Look at her. Butter wouldn't melt.

In other news, Rosey is eating like a trooper and growing admirably, whilst Oscar doesn't seem to have regained much weight since his dramatic weight loss and diarrhea, despite also eating like a trooper. They both still have URIs and it's been weeks if not months. Their noses are all snotty, they're sneezing and Oscar is finding it hard to breathe. I am not overly worried though because they're both still very lively, eating well, have good stools and I keep them well hydrated, but it's still a little unsettling that they continue to be ill. Their eyes are getting gunky again, although thankfully I have ointment for that from last time. I've been told there's not much I can do about their illness as I've already used strong medication in the past so they just have to see this through. 

Uninvited guests

There's no fancying this up: this morning I woke up to several visitors in the litter tray. They were stunningly long and squirmy-looking (or at least looked like they used to be) and I was transfixed for several moments as I pondered how these things could have actually been living inside my furry little babies. 

Anyway, needless to say I was very grateful that Ferne from Toronto Cat Rescue had come over last night to deworm all of the critters, and by golly was it a mission and a half. Honestly, I admire anyone who can put up with and indeed be apparently oblivious to that many sets of needle sharp claws and teeth hacking away at their skin. On a positive note, Ferne confirmed it would be a good idea to clip their claws. Once this was confirmed, an evil laugh unfurled itself within me (inaudible, of course: I had to at least wait until I was alone) at the thought of the kittens trying and failing to mount and consequently draw blood from my bare legs in the mornings.

So they had worms, it transpired. Roundworms, to be exact, although they didn't look particularly round to me. This is all a bit of a mystery, really, for all the cats except Rosey had been dewormed, albeit at different times. Reassuringly, this worm fiasco might explain Celia's repeated vomiting as well as Oscar's weight and appetite loss over the past week. I imagine any fosterer would agree when I say there's nothing worse than a cat or kitten being ill, especially when the cause is mysterious. Unfortunately it happens a lot with shelter kitties, but at least it's all good preparation for when Matt finally gives in to buying me a ridiculously big diamond and we have a bambino of our own.

Anyway, so I'm hoping some good times will ensue now this worm saga's come to an end and that I won't have to be jamming KMR-laden syringes into unhungry mouths much longer.

Let's have some happy pictures to bring the mood back up, eh? Cue jaunty kitten music I composed with Matt last week.

Mini-Cat's more interested in what's not hers, like an envious socialite

Mini-Cat wants to do everything I do but knows secret and destructive key combinations that I don't.

Elliot pretending he's never mounted and consequently drawn blood from a single leg in his life.

Rosey just being... Rosey

My favourite old boy

I know it's Thursday and I am about to write about last weekend but the kittens have kept me REAL busy this week, plus I actually did write the below at the weekend without publishing it. Oh it's a long one...

I escaped from work earlier than usual last Friday and headed to my mum's in Innisfil for the weekend, leaving Celia and the kittens in Matt's hands, which are of questionable capability. My mum and I went for a walk by the lake with our champagne glasses and caught up on some girly chitchat, which is just what I was looking forward to after a busy week. I was also looking forward to seeing my favourite kitty of them all: my baby Tiddles. He's not actually a baby, I was in fact nine years old when I got him, but he still is and always will be my precious boy. 

For my ninth birthday, my parents had actually bought me a fish tank and four goldfish. Bizarrely, one died each day until they were all dead, leaving me with mild but significant traumatic scars (I still remain a sensitive, sensitive soul), so my devastated mum decided to crank things up a notch and bought me two little black kittens. 

Although I never forgot the fish (Misty, Moddy, Mardi-Gras and Goldie), my dream had come true. My older brother and I named the kittens Zack and Tiddles. Back then we lived in a fairly small house in Hampshire, England, and my mum was very house proud, so the cats weren't allowed on work surfaces, furniture or upstairs and were sent out into the garage to sleep in a heated box at night. 

Zack and Tiddles saw many years pass by in that little house, and saw both my brother and I grow up, become adults, move out, go to university and our parents separate. My mum eventually moved in with her new partner in High Wycombe before they planned on moving to Canada. In light of this, and because her partner didn't want to keep the cats in his house, we gave them to a rescue shelter. I know, it's awful and there's no excuse, but after a few days, we couldn't bare being apart from them, including my mum's partner. We took them back, much to the understandable annoyance of the shelter worker ("I hope you're not just going to abandon them again.") but it still upsets me to think how close we came to not having them in our lives anymore. 

They then lived like kings in High Wycombe, enjoying a bigger house and marvelling at the strange looking horses in a field the house looked onto, but the bliss wasn't to last too long. I'd just moved to London and started a busy corporate lifestyle when my mum called and told me that Zacky had died. He'd had a stroke right in front of her and was dead within literally seconds. I was inconsolable, to say the least. 

Zack & Tiddles in High Wycombe

Tiddles in Canada

Zack was always the friendly, bossy one who liked his food above everything else, whereas Tiddles was more reserved, slimmer and had affection for my family that stretched beyond just pursuing food and warmth. Throughout my troublesome teenage years, he'd always find me when I was upset and rub his face against mine as though he just knew I needed comforting. 

After Zacky's death, Tiddles soon became the centre of attention, enjoying a spotlight he'd not got a fair share of before. A few months later, my mum and her partner moved to Canada and took Tiddles with them. Since they've been living in Innisfil, Tiddles has been spoilt beyond belief. My mum is more house proud than ever, yet Tiddles now has complete run of the huge house, goes and sleeps wherever he likes and is fed fresh prawns and chicken breast. In fact, he expects no less. He is cuddled and cooed at and stroked by all of us all of the time and even gets fought over, each of us begging him to come and sit in their lap. At his ripe old age of 15, he even caught a finch just the other day (I'm not particularly for this type of hunting, but we believe the bird must have been weak. Natural selection, then?)

Each night I'm here at my mum's, he insists on sleeping at the foot of my bed, where he purrs until he falls asleep and sneakily crawls up towards my face and curls up as close to me as possible in the middle of the night. I don't think I could love a cat more. And bizarrely, having now got used to Celia, seeing Tiddles is like seeing a giant bulldozer of a cat because she is just so small in comparison. I wonder if they'd get on if I were to convince my mum to adopt her...

Kittens everywhere

The little critters are growing at an alarming rate, particularly Elliott, who seems to be dwarfing the others more and more each day. He's got a crazy appetite and lately it's been hard to fight back the tears of laughter as we watch him desperately scrambling for his dinner. We have to give Celia some pills twice a day in her food, you see, so we give it to her first and watch her to make sure she eats it. No matter how hard we try to keep the kittens away from her bowl during this time, they're somehow always there in a flash, like homing missiles with claws and teeth. It's almost concerning the lengths Elliott goes to to get to Celia's bowl. He literally throws himself at it and if you dare get in his way, you'll be lucky to emerge unscathed.

With this tremendous growth spurt comes the awkward habit of the kittens roaming around the flat at surprising speeds, most often underneath your feet. As a former ballet dancer (6 months worth of lessons at the age of six), I am understandably light on my feet and cautious of everywhere I tread, however the same cannot be said of Matt's limbs, which seem to clamber more blindly through the flat than the kittens themselves. In the past week, he's stepped on two kittens and yesterday sat on Mini-Cat. I have no idea how it didn't turn out horrifying, but I am thankful that it didn't nonetheless. All I remember is seeing his rear end, again, blindly moving towards the sofa when I spotted a black blob directly in his derriere's path. Too late - he'd sat, but nothing happened. No squeal, nothing. I relaxed and realised it must've been the remote control. Moments later, his bum finally picked up the necessary signals and he stood up to reveal poor Mini-Cat looking - get this - not angry or confused, but mildly inconvenienced. She curled back up to sleep and I screamed at and lectured Matthew for several minutes before popping Mini-Cat on the floor to see if she was OK. She was totally fine and was abusing her brothers and sister again only minutes later. Naturally, if this happens again, Matt will be advertising on Craigslist for a roommate.