"Walkies!"

From a young age, I'd always wished with the annoying vehemence of a child that I could walk Zack and Tiddles on a leash. After some casual experimentation, it was clear that neither would do much more than just lie there and resent having something attached to them. 

We've all seen the odd cat (along with its odd owner) walking on a leash or chilling on a pub chair in the summer and have no doubt been wowed by it, or intrigued at the very least, yet many have deep reservations about having a cat do this because, okay, cats aren't dogs, but I don't think it's cruel and I am hoping that my Canadian peers will be more understanding than the Brits, considering most Brits are against cats being kept indoors (and therefore believe cats should roam free outdoors sans leash) whilst Canadians seem to promote house cats (from my observations, anyway). 

I obviously don't intend to take any cat on regular hikes around the park or anywhere where there is traffic or crowds of people, but if I am to have a cat (fully vaccinated, of course) that I'll be keeping indoors to keep them safe from Canadian wildlife, sub zero temperatures, feral cats, a hunting reputation and the actions of crazy neighbours with guns who dislike cats on their property, I might as well enhance their little lives a bit by letting them venture outside supervised. 

So anyway, it suddenly dawned on me a few weeks ago that now is my opportunity to teach these kittens how to walk on a leash. My mum is actually adopting Mini-Cat and Rosey so I've admittedly been selective with their training, but my God is it easy to do if you "get them" at a young age.

When it comes to wearing the harness, I knew Mini wouldn't be fazed even if there were an actual 120 lb rottweiler strapped to her back, and as you can see from this picture, she is indeed so comfortable with wearing it that she doesn't even mind sleeping with the harness on. Before PETA get at me, I obviously don't let her wear it when I'm not around. The last thing I want is a hanging kitten. 

So I am now at the stage where every other day I take each kitten for a little walk down the corridors just outside our flat. Mini-Cat is the most advanced. I say "Mini-Cat, come, come" and make kissing noises, which prompts her to start walking alongside me, then when I say "Stop, sit" (or more often "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, Mini-Cat, stop. Okay, sit. Sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit"), she does as she's told and sits. Then I tickle her chin and she starts purring like a maniac. Of course, all this "obedience" could just be a happy coincidence but the contrast between her behaviour and that of a motionless, stubborn Tiddles ten years ago is already vast, so I'm happy. 

On a handful of occasions, same-floor-dwellers have emerged from the elevators, spotted a kitten on a leash and quite obviously questioned their sobriety (their own, not the kittens'). I have also sometimes caught a glimpse of the old "What are you doing to that poor kitten" face, to which I've felt like shaking my fists in the air and shouting "You've gotta start them young, you do!", possibly in a Devonshire accent. 

Anyway, with time, I hope to get Mini-Cat and Rosey comfortable enough to have a bit of a venture in a quiet leafy green area downstairs without getting scared or me being judged. By the way, PETA, no I don't ever tug the kittens by the leash. I can assure you that the amount of baby-voiced coaxing I do would make even Mary Poppins vomit.